


Falling in mud with John Egbert

by dstrider (articulateSeer)



Series: JohnDave Oneshots [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Fluffy, Gen, Lost - Freeform, Mud, idk how to tag thiiiiiiis, its cute though, prank, prompt, prompt meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 14:32:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1902570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/articulateSeer/pseuds/dstrider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Worst title ever award goes to....articulateSeer! Original title was actually worse. ''Big ass tree, Dave needs to pee''. Yeah. Glad I changed that.</p><p>Dave gets lost and John flies to the rescue. A careless Dave ends up falling in....</p><p>...mud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling in mud with John Egbert

**Author's Note:**

> i havent posted a fic in forever, sorry.
> 
> I was working on a chaptered collegestuck, but I just couldnt get it right, so now I have like 3 different versions of the same concept ugh i edited that shit like soooooo mnay times
> 
> anyway, if i disappear again, thats why!!
> 
> but here is a short one!!

"Egbert." Dave greeted into the speaker.

"What? I TOLD you-"

"I'm lost."

"...Could you repeat that?"

"I'm lost." He said again.

There was a pause, before John replied, his calm velocity showing a crack. "Where are you?"

Dave explained. He'd gone for a walk, and gotten horribly stuck in a forest somewhere out of town. It wasn't far, but when he'd decided to take a short-cut across two or three fields - well, there's a high chance he wouldn't know where he'd end up.

He described the scenery; an old mill, a big ass tree and a bunch of cows. Nothing too interesting or stand-outish that anybody with a sane mind would be able to recognize.

Except John. John recognized it.

A loud sigh echoed down the phone, Dave held the phone from his ear for fear of being deafened.

"Wait right there! Do NOT move!" John rushed out, hanging up before the sentence was even over.

Dave would wait. If there was one thing he could do, it was listen to John. But he really had to pee.

After 10 minutes of dancing from right foot to left, Dave finally gave in to his bladder; the big ass tree beside the mill called out to him, saying 'Dave, Dave. Pee on me.' So he did. The ground was marshy, slippery and very muddy, but Dave made it across the small expanse without being sucked into the swamp of doom. Making it back, well, different story.

Mid-stream, a car revved it's engine at his back, Dave turned around, forgetting for a split second that he was in fact taking a well needed whizz. The look on John's face really was priceless, he had to admit.

"I'll never unsee that." John whined from inside the car. He'd rolled the window down and stuck out his head, flopping over the side like a child trying to escape hell. Dave just laughed, and resumed the bathroom break.

Once he was done, he made it back across the swamp to the car, an impatient John blowing raspberries in waiting - but there was one problem. Dave's shoelace was untied, and also a great way to trip someone up. One false move, and Dave had propelled forward, his face and whole front slathered in gooey brown mud. The slap of boy on mud was horribly comical, and the only thing Dave heard when he'd raised his head was the heehawing laughter of John Egbert. Oh, that boy would get it.

"That's a good look for you, Dave!" He bellowed, already stepping out of the car.

"Whatever, just give me a hand."

"You forgot to say the magic word."

Dave pushed himself onto his knees, the clinging liquid making a disgusting 'shlicking' sound as he retracted his limbs from the mix. "Please."

John shrugged above him, a hand shooting out in Dave's direction. "Actually, it was 'Apples', but I'll help you just this once."

Dave grabbed John's hand, all set to pull him down with him. But John was prepared, stepping back and using all of his weight to lift Dave. A King Prankster would never fall for that one, Dave was sure. They both made their way over to the car, but as Dave reached out for the handle, a frantic John cried out in horror. Worried about his damn car - what was Dave supposed to do? Take off his muddy clothes?

"Oh no no no. The only way you're getting in MY car is if you take off your dirty clothes."

"You want me to do what?"

"Take them off, Dave."

Dave undid his shoes first, knowing that he'd never win an argument concerning John's car. But, he'd get him back eventually.

"An odd time to tell me to undress, Egderp. Sure you don't want to do this in the car?"

"Hell to the fuck no. Take 'em off."

As Dave stripped, John leaned on his car, 'politely' waiting until he was down to his boxers. They were the only things apart from his socks that weren't covered in mud. Terrible.

"Hey, John."

"What?"

Dave stood beside him, half naked and incredibly close. "I'm cold."

"Well, what can I..." John trailed off as Dave leaned in closer, his eyes only barely visible behind his sunglasses. He was turning visibly pink, his nose clouding over with a light blush. "Dave -"

"Shh." Dave pressed a palm to the side of John's face, stopping him from saying anything else. The wind whisked across Dave's bare shoulders; John was warm to the touch, but Dave wasn't really all that cold anyway. This was just payback. As he leaned in closer, he could see John's guard slowly dropping, and this was his chance -

A handful of mud slapped into the other side of John's face, coating his cheek and one lense of his glasses in thick, grainy muck. To avoid any fighting back, Dave bounced back on his heels, watching the masterpiece that was John Egbert's reaction.

"Daaaaaaave!" He moaned, slicking it off with the side of his hand. A grimy smear trailed it's way down the collar of his shirt, only making the picture much better than initially thought.

"Are you fucking kidding me!"

"Haha," Dave laughed, already scooping up the pile of dirty clothes and practically skipping into the passenger's side. "If there's one thing the world needs more of..."

"It's not another Dave Strider, THAT'S for sure..." John mumbled as he climbed in beside Dave, turning the key. Dave just ignored him.

"It's John Egbert getting pranked. Now drive, I want some noodles before the takeout closes."

John put the car into gear and reversed out. If Dave ever got himself lost again - he's walking home.


End file.
